madison, and it is all i have been looking for. i haven’t felt this at home since the northwest. months of confusion and anxiety are finally beginning to settle into peaceful rhythms, purpose, slowness.
i feel like sometimes my existence baffles a lot of kinds of people, the kinds of people who are super productive and driven and juggling maybe several kids and/or a career, who ask things like “…so what do you do all day?”
and i do get it. my existence is as foreign to them as theirs is to me. but my purpose comes, rushes in with force, in these quiet moments in between. i thrive in the in-between. if there is one thing i have loved about my twenties, especially these last two years, it has been learning to own and accept my truths, my preferences, myself. and the more i do that, the less threatened i have to be by comparison, by differences in expectation and execution between humans. we’re not all living the same life, and the standards are allowed to be vastly different. the more i allow myself to be whatever i am, to not be whatever i am not, the more room i find in myself to allow others that same space to be, in their own universe of priorities and values.
…honestly i just intended to post some pictures of our afternoon walk and my cute kid and cat, but i derailed myself. so anyway.
last summer, on my birthday weekend, in the rain and the green of sturgeon bay. i needed it then and the experience still feeds my soul now. this year i hope i will escape to the green and the wild more than once. so I can stop being like “I went to Door County once and now my whole life is about it.” ha.
as a side note, this was my first attempt to match digital photos to film taken at the same time. I used VSCO pack 02 as a starting point (the only preset pack I ever got, back in my baby days of photography) and it only took a few tweaks to get it close enough to go well with film, and have some of that moody richness. Which is exciting, because I’ve been wanting to incorporate more film into all my shoots/endeavors and now I’m encouraged.
Anyway. Trees! Are what it’s all about.
digital and film. film was kodak portra 400 and ilford delta 3200, shot on canon ae-1 program.