living breathing living souls

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the emotional fog of january has passed. so has the literal smog of february.
so much is happening and not happening yet. preparations for big things, waiting around for the little things that will make them happen.
being on the roller derby travel team and not actually being good enough but learning, always learning.
having weeks of no sleep that make me question everything about my life choices, but then it’s all okay after a few days. it always is. why do i forget that every time? oh right. no sleep.
we went on a weekend trip to salt lake, of all places, mid-inversion. to escape, for a couple of days. to retain what sliver of sanity i had left. there will be pictures when the film is developed. we stayed in a nicer-than-usual hotel and ate lots of delicious things and replaced all the tires on our car unexpectedly. it was perfect and did exactly what i needed it to. and we got some amazing news the day before we left, so it turned into a celebration vacation!
Rowan is hugging now. Hugging! and cuddling! And his first word is “bye-bye,” which he says in the sweetest falsetto as he waves his hand over his head. And this morning when he woke up in his room, instead of going to get him I called to him and he came in and snuggled me. Everything small feels so huge.
things have been imperfect and silly and straight up wonderful. things like lunch dates and bowling nights breathing life into my bones and so much glorious hope for the future.

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